Traumas of being a woman

I’m lying. Who in their right mind enjoys their uncontrollable bleeding vagina every month? Not me, and not any other sane woman I know. Let’s talk about the monthly bleeding that makes me want to rip my uterus out and burn it. The ‘novelty’ of having your first ever period when you’re just hitting puberty soon wears away after discovering the traumas of never being able to own any non-stained pants ever again. “Being a woman is great” they say. “You can give life, grow a human being inside you!” Yes, that may be amazing (for some) but the consequences that come with the ‘privilege’ are not. Periods are, unfortunately, a part of womanhood that almost every female must suffer, and trust me…it will become the bane of your life.  The bloated-ness, hunger, angriness, fatigue, mood swings, stomach cramps and all the other benefits of menstruating don’t exactly make me feel privileged to be a woman. Firstly, the expense is shocking. With an average price of £3....

It's not like I can't take a compliment but when a van drives past you shouting out the window “show us ya tits love” it doesn’t exactly make me feel ‘special’. Some girls may like hearing the odd wolf whistle down the street, but I for one don’t appreciate a stranger telling me my backside “looks good.” What’s the purpose of you honking to me whilst I’m walking down the street? To brighten my day? To make me feel appreciated as a woman? Let’s cut the bull. Now to make it clear, being catcalled has nothing to do with what you’re wearing, what you look like or how old you are. I have been whistled at more times wearing a baggy tracksuit than my ‘slutty’ short going-out dress. As long as you have a female body, you are a target for creepy lowlifes. “It’s not a big deal” and “you should take it as a compliment” are just some of the excuses people come up with when I moan about being shouted at by a yob down the street. And worse still, we are told to not...

Sometimes I love having big boobs. But a lot of the time I utterly despise them. When my small-breasted friends moan about their lack of cup size, I find it almost impossible to explain how inconvenient having a bigger bust is. They can wear cute little bra-lets, fit in normal size tops and dresses, and they can go bra-less in public without fear of serious boob spillage. They don’t understand how lucky they are. So let me fill you in with just some of the day to day dilemmas of having huge jugs. 1. Spontaneous running. Total no-go. Especially down stairs. The fear of your own breasts punching you in the face is a fear well enshrined with any woman who has boobs bigger than a D cup. 2. Anything that involves the word “strapless” is totally off limits. Any strapless bra above a E cup will, no doubt, slide down your rib cage within 10 minutes of wear. The constant trauma of pulling up the bra (which is also extremely tight to overcompensate for the loss of st...

There’s nothing I hate more than having to remove hair from my legs, armpits and god knows where else and I’m sure I’m not the only woman to say this. So why do we do it? Why do we spend billions of pounds on hair removal for it usually to grow back within a day? The pressure for women to remove their body hair isn’t exactly a fad-it’s been around for thousands of years. But the 90’s and noughties brought the term hair removal to a whole other level. I’m talking total pube-annihilation. Not only did women already shave their armpits and legs, bleach their moustache and wax their bikini line, but now they were being told to remove every hair off their womanhood. And who’s to blame for this monstrosity? Porn? The emergence of the smooth, hair free “areas” became the norm in a huge number of porn images and videos. People began to conform to the idea in everyday life, that no hair was the best hair. Fashion and pop culture also helped shape western society...